~*Lil_Lokita*~
Legendary Poster
How To Find The Way To A Womans Heart
They say on the tip of the highest mountain in Tibet lived the wisest man in the world...
One time a young man went to find the way to the heart of a certain woman. When he found the wise man he asked:
Master of masters! What is the shortest and surest route to the heart of a woman?
The wise man answered:
There is no sure road to the heart of a woman, my son. Only trails on steep cliffs and roads without maps or compasses, full of stones and, dangerous curves, and venomous serpents...
But, then Maestro, What can one do to conquer the heart of my beloved?
Then the guru said to him..
"Oh! Disciple, Take to heart the advice I give you now..."
Follow everything with attention without error and you will have what you seek....
Don't spit on the floor
Brush your teeth
Don't scratch your balls in front of her;
Buy her flowers and many, but MANY presents. preferably expensive presents.
Raise the lid before you urinate and remember to put the lid back down...
Wash your hands after using the W.C.
Don't chew with your mouth open.
Never burp in public.
No farting under the bedcovers, no farting at all would be better...
Don't use toothpicks in public.
Cut and keep clean your fingernails and don't chew on them.
Never complain about her mother, no, you must LOVE her mother..
Use deodorant (that works.)
Never use swear words (When done in front of women an extremely SERIOUS offense)
Always laugh at her jokes...
Never be jealous of her...
But she's allowed to get jealous...
Don't grow a belly, in fact, never put on weight...
The bathroom is hers, not yours...
Don't get the bathroom damp, nor the house, and don't throw your towels on the floor...
No sitting at table without a shirt on..
Never tell her she doesn?t know how to drive (keep this truth to yourself.)
Never come home late. Come right home after work...
Don't stay out drinking with your buddies...Better yet, don't have friends...
And don't DREAM of having girl friends.
Don't be a tightwad; use at least two credit cards...
Don't look at other women. Moreover, other women don't exist.
Don't talk about your ex...You never had anybody before her..
Never comment on your sexual experiences...You were a virgin when you married..
Say "I love you" 24 times a day..
Learn to cook
Wash your dirty dishes...
Make up the bed...everyday..
Call her all the time no matter where you are or what you are doing...
Let her buy clothes and shoes whenever she wants...moreoever help her to shop for hours looking for new clothes..
Let her talk for hours on the phone...
Never *&^%%$ her...only make tender love...
Process your relationship day and night although there is nothing to discuss..
Don't snore..
Don't like football..
Shave everyday so you don't hurt her face...
Put up with your in-laws no matter how insufferable they might be, in fact spend every weekend with them laughing at their jokes..
Never complain.
You're expected to work short hours but earn a lot of dough, and give it all to her..
Always tell her she is the most terrific woman in the world...and her clothes are cool and her hair...no matter HOWS she looks
Tell "You look great with what you have on," even if she wears the same thing every day.
Tell her you love her hairdo, even if she just cut off all her hair...
And the most important, my son...
Hey KID!!!
WAIT!
COME BACK
DON"T JUMP!
They say on the tip of the highest mountain in Tibet lived the wisest man in the world...
One time a young man went to find the way to the heart of a certain woman. When he found the wise man he asked:
Master of masters! What is the shortest and surest route to the heart of a woman?
The wise man answered:
There is no sure road to the heart of a woman, my son. Only trails on steep cliffs and roads without maps or compasses, full of stones and, dangerous curves, and venomous serpents...
But, then Maestro, What can one do to conquer the heart of my beloved?
Then the guru said to him..
"Oh! Disciple, Take to heart the advice I give you now..."
Follow everything with attention without error and you will have what you seek....
Don't spit on the floor
Brush your teeth
Don't scratch your balls in front of her;
Buy her flowers and many, but MANY presents. preferably expensive presents.
Raise the lid before you urinate and remember to put the lid back down...
Wash your hands after using the W.C.
Don't chew with your mouth open.
Never burp in public.
No farting under the bedcovers, no farting at all would be better...
Don't use toothpicks in public.
Cut and keep clean your fingernails and don't chew on them.
Never complain about her mother, no, you must LOVE her mother..
Use deodorant (that works.)
Never use swear words (When done in front of women an extremely SERIOUS offense)
Always laugh at her jokes...
Never be jealous of her...
But she's allowed to get jealous...
Don't grow a belly, in fact, never put on weight...
The bathroom is hers, not yours...
Don't get the bathroom damp, nor the house, and don't throw your towels on the floor...
No sitting at table without a shirt on..
Never tell her she doesn?t know how to drive (keep this truth to yourself.)
Never come home late. Come right home after work...
Don't stay out drinking with your buddies...Better yet, don't have friends...
And don't DREAM of having girl friends.
Don't be a tightwad; use at least two credit cards...
Don't look at other women. Moreover, other women don't exist.
Don't talk about your ex...You never had anybody before her..
Never comment on your sexual experiences...You were a virgin when you married..
Say "I love you" 24 times a day..
Learn to cook
Wash your dirty dishes...
Make up the bed...everyday..
Call her all the time no matter where you are or what you are doing...
Let her buy clothes and shoes whenever she wants...moreoever help her to shop for hours looking for new clothes..
Let her talk for hours on the phone...
Never *&^%%$ her...only make tender love...
Process your relationship day and night although there is nothing to discuss..
Don't snore..
Don't like football..
Shave everyday so you don't hurt her face...
Put up with your in-laws no matter how insufferable they might be, in fact spend every weekend with them laughing at their jokes..
Never complain.
You're expected to work short hours but earn a lot of dough, and give it all to her..
Always tell her she is the most terrific woman in the world...and her clothes are cool and her hair...no matter HOWS she looks
Tell "You look great with what you have on," even if she wears the same thing every day.
Tell her you love her hairdo, even if she just cut off all her hair...
And the most important, my son...
Hey KID!!!
WAIT!
COME BACK
DON"T JUMP!
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