My mother’s been bugging me for a picture of myself for the longest. I’m gonna do it since I didn’t get her anything for Mother’s Day. I made her a grandmother this year so I figured she no longer qualified as a mother. Honest mistake anybody could’ve made.
I asked her where she’s gonna put my pic after I give it to her.
“I’m gonna unveil it on the TV, during the Superbowl,” she said.
“Hang me up next to The Last Supper. You know how holy I am,” I replied.
I then proceeded to bless myself, prayed an Our Father, threw away my crack pipe, my nasty books, my mother’s tamales (contained more sin and made me throw up worse than Regan from The Exorcist), freed two of the girls from my basement, and performed a successful exorcism on my grandmother – releasing all 14 demons, 6 brujas, the devil and Gary Coleman – who each thanked me on their way out, except Gary.
I then borrowed my father’s coat and tie and my mother’s ice cream truck to go take my picture. My mother was all happy and shit.
I drove directly to the camera place, ran the red light at the intersection and the camera snapped the picture . . . but I smiled too late.
I made a U-turn, ran another red light and snap! A perfect smile! But some kid was chasing me with a dollar to buy some ice cream and got in the picture. Fvcking kid.
I made another U-turn, ran the light and snap! I looked beautiful . . . and no kid.
I drove straight back to my mother’s . . . she was waiting for me on the porch.
“Already?” She asked.
“Yeah. I would’ve been even faster if I didn’t take those extra pics to get it just right for you.”
“You’re the best son a mother could ever have. When do I get the pictures?”
“They’re gonna mail them to you.”
“Directly?”
“Yes, directly.”
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. Happy belated Mother’s Day.”
Corona
Hi, everybody.
I hope some of you smiled.
I’m a member of the Screenwriter’s Consortium & Latino Heart Project. We’re a group of volunteer screenwriters trying to bring entertaining, maintstream, Latino-spiced flicks to theaters near you on a consistent basis.
Our group has been told by Hollywood insiders, point-blank, that there is “no Latino audience” out there, that Latinos LOVE what Hollywood puts out now, since Latinos don’t ask for Latino-spiced flicks.
Our group strongly begs to differ. We believe in our hearts, that Latinos would love to see entertaining, Latino-spiced flicks.
Latinos represent 1 billion dollars a year to the movie industry. We have the power to demand to see Latino-spiced flicks in theaters on a regular basis. Please help us make this a reality.
All we ask is your support and your voice to help us bring these flicks to theaters near you. We’re not looking to make sad, depressing, boring etc. flicks. Our scripts break out of that shell and bring thrills, comedy, action, horror etc.
Please visit our blog at http://screenwriterconsortium.wordpress.com/ to comment and show your support.
Also, please search Latino Heart Project on facebook and become a fan.
We need you! We need to be heard! It's our time!
My apologies for entering the community like this and starting 3 threads, before getting to know any of you.
Thank you for listening, mi gente.
Respectfully,
Corona
I asked her where she’s gonna put my pic after I give it to her.
“I’m gonna unveil it on the TV, during the Superbowl,” she said.
“Hang me up next to The Last Supper. You know how holy I am,” I replied.
I then proceeded to bless myself, prayed an Our Father, threw away my crack pipe, my nasty books, my mother’s tamales (contained more sin and made me throw up worse than Regan from The Exorcist), freed two of the girls from my basement, and performed a successful exorcism on my grandmother – releasing all 14 demons, 6 brujas, the devil and Gary Coleman – who each thanked me on their way out, except Gary.
I then borrowed my father’s coat and tie and my mother’s ice cream truck to go take my picture. My mother was all happy and shit.
I drove directly to the camera place, ran the red light at the intersection and the camera snapped the picture . . . but I smiled too late.
I made a U-turn, ran another red light and snap! A perfect smile! But some kid was chasing me with a dollar to buy some ice cream and got in the picture. Fvcking kid.
I made another U-turn, ran the light and snap! I looked beautiful . . . and no kid.
I drove straight back to my mother’s . . . she was waiting for me on the porch.
“Already?” She asked.
“Yeah. I would’ve been even faster if I didn’t take those extra pics to get it just right for you.”
“You’re the best son a mother could ever have. When do I get the pictures?”
“They’re gonna mail them to you.”
“Directly?”
“Yes, directly.”
“Thank you!”
“You’re welcome. Happy belated Mother’s Day.”
Corona
Hi, everybody.
I hope some of you smiled.
I’m a member of the Screenwriter’s Consortium & Latino Heart Project. We’re a group of volunteer screenwriters trying to bring entertaining, maintstream, Latino-spiced flicks to theaters near you on a consistent basis.
Our group has been told by Hollywood insiders, point-blank, that there is “no Latino audience” out there, that Latinos LOVE what Hollywood puts out now, since Latinos don’t ask for Latino-spiced flicks.
Our group strongly begs to differ. We believe in our hearts, that Latinos would love to see entertaining, Latino-spiced flicks.
Latinos represent 1 billion dollars a year to the movie industry. We have the power to demand to see Latino-spiced flicks in theaters on a regular basis. Please help us make this a reality.
All we ask is your support and your voice to help us bring these flicks to theaters near you. We’re not looking to make sad, depressing, boring etc. flicks. Our scripts break out of that shell and bring thrills, comedy, action, horror etc.
Please visit our blog at http://screenwriterconsortium.wordpress.com/ to comment and show your support.
Also, please search Latino Heart Project on facebook and become a fan.
We need you! We need to be heard! It's our time!
My apologies for entering the community like this and starting 3 threads, before getting to know any of you.
Thank you for listening, mi gente.
Respectfully,
Corona
Last edited:
