?

[SadeyeZ]

I dont no wut 2 call it. But i actually wrote it wen i woke up. Actually its the only reason i woke up, cuz i was sleep thinkin bout a homie of mine that just broke up wit his gurl cuz its the 3rd time he c's his homie in her room wit her and the doors locked. But i dont no if its good so tell me.

She awoke with a bullet in her chest
and a note in her hand that read,
I saw u with him in bed
so i had to take my revenge
but after i put 1 in ur chest
I put another in my hed.
Cuz my concience didnt let me rest
So even tho it mite not be on earth,
Atleast now we'll b 2gether
Alwayz & Forever

 

[Mr Unique]

its pretty good...i like the feeling of hate and then sadness, but try changing the 2nd "chest" 2 a another word, try looking in a ther=saurus, cause chest twice doesnt sound so good...

 

[DoeMemba]

be more original. sorry wasnt feeling it

 

[lonely_girl]

i liked it

 

[tickle me elmo]

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

[Mr Unique]

be more original. sorry wasnt feeling it

simon a bit more originality would help it...

 

[BabyEyEz_813]

Dam that shit was really good...great actually I wish i could write like that

 

[lil locote X3]

damn, thats crazy gud..... u shud kall it alwayz & forever

 

[epamobsta]

Thats Real Man Good Shit

 

[chicano]

Needs work, good try though.

 

[SadeyeZ]

tank u tank u. 4all ur guyz opinions. Ya i thot off changing the second "chest" 2 but i couldnt relly tink cuz i had barly opened my eyez and woken up

 

[native_chick_08]

damm itz like romeyo & julet in a scarry version

 

[SadeyeZ]

Umm, thank u? I think

 

[luv hurts]

Dam Y Yall Gotta B Hatin On Da Homies Poem Like Dat Lol Jp I Liked It Alot Its Gud Keep Up Da Nice Ritin

 

[miss brujita 13]

I LIKED IT