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Fear of life

Jessy1

New member
feel so empty,
empty w/no one to turn to,
in every direction i turn,
there is a wall,
surrounding me,
traping me inside,
inside with my feelings,
so much hurt and pain inside,
scared to let it out,
fear of life,
fear of death,
and even of happiness,
sending mixed signals to those i love,
happy but sad,
strong but yet weak,
i see it so close,
but yet so far,
dont know how it feels to live,
confused,
feeling myself fall apart,
trying to stay strong but so hard to acheive,
no clues,
thoughts are everywhere,
no straight road to follow,
crying out for help,
crying on the inside,
but no one hears me,
feel as if i am dead,
how to fix myself,
how to fix us,
this relationship,
this family,
who to turn to,
who will help me,
help me fix this that they call life
which is my fear...
 
para mi familia/for my family

Yes we?re family but a family that don?t show love like most families do,
We?re the type of family that is fake,
Life goes by and we still act the same,
I look at the past and I think about how I was treated like a outcast,
All because I am the daughter of my mother and father,
I am sentenced to life as the bastard child and treated badly and humiliated every time,

This that I feel wont go away,
Family is supposed to stand by your side no matter what happens,
But our family will be the ones judging you worse than the media,
You call yourselves people of god but in reality your worse than those sinners,
You turned your back on someone in need,
But you need me you expect me to be there with my arms open and I always have been there,
But now I have realized that life is a bitch,

You enjoy watching people suffer,
You enjoy the pain,
You told me ounce that you will be there for me,
But you weren?t,
You ask why I coming around as much,
Why I am acting so cold towards you,
Why I am being such a bitch


You laughed at me,
Watching me on the streets with my family,
You say you love my daughter,
But its all for show.

You judge me,
Calling me a druggy,
A alcoholic,
And the worst you called me a bad mother,

Yes I have done drugs,
And yes I WAS an alcoholic,
But you were the ones that pushed towards that,
But the I changed for my daughter no thanks to you,
Because she was all I had in life.
 
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All A Dream

Never have I felt this way before,
Sometimes I wish that I can disappear,
My heart is filled with these feeling that are hard to explain,
Feeling that I can't breath,
Like I'm being strangled and there is no way to escape,
My life flashes before my eyes,
One minute goes by and I can't seem to escape this ever lasting dream,
Why is my life this way,
Why am I still here,
Why do I live,
Can I just end my life now,
Or do I have to continue this dream that will never end,
The cycle continues and I'm in the middle,
In the middle of this life that is just a lie,
A lie that even I believe to be true at times,
I'm still standing here out of breath,
Now I wake up to see that it was all a dream,
What was that supposed to mean?
 
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