Civilians staring
OG's looking at me with less of a caring
But still muggin'
With that hate that makes me want to start slugging
From this place to another, from here to there
I don't dwell well anywhere
I've realized my thing is not to fit in
But momma, she don't realize, still tries to get in
I'm sorry I won't dress lacy
But I'll put on fedora hat like Dick Tracy
Match it with shoes by Stacy
Cause the closest I'll get to fancy is a zoot suit
But other than that Dickies, a button up, and a hoodie is my route
I feel the eyes turning, tuning in on me
Like I'm the street's made freak
Remember I said OG's staring cause now THEY got kids
And I can't let my ways show turn them to Toy Story's mini-Sids
They just fail to realize aint nobody perfect
I'm fucking up and they act like it's disrespect
They look at me with so much hate
That way aint gonna let them near the gate
But it's not in me to judge
Just to continue with this spiteful grudge
They look down on me as if I was a fucking bug
I'm just the anti-drug
See I’ am trying to make a change
But the only thing these people see is my rage
They pronounce me to be a senseless criminal
And then if I was to try and justify my behavior, fucking psycho they'd say and continue being illeteral
I may seem small but in a way I'm ahead
Because they are numb and blind to the truth, they don’t want to hear it and now they're equal to dead
South Park is one of the few that I see not full of that same detest
He reppin' God 100% in my eyes he is one of the greatest by the Good Lord he is blessed
I love the vato without even knowing him
Because he realizes my people's light is very dim
I picked up his CD from a ruka at school and read the packet
It's full of loving and faithful tactics
Just because he has made a change
He knows not everybody has, some still keep their enemies in range
All of sudden I spill an invisible tear
That fills me with the fear
That in the coming years
It will be permanently branded, tattooed
My life is darker, my lungs is blacker than Erykah Badu
Now I come to think about my own family
My dad who has come to reject me
My sister in Houstone almost hates me
Like I've said I've learned I don't fit in with this world
To them I'm just swirled and twirled
At least in the one I have seen
Just a brown bean
Full of sinful caffeine
Streets have been more of a family
But I’m paranoid, watching my back drastically
I question my self if even with them I belong
Or if they even care, so I puff on a loneliness made bong
My medicine, materialism and lust
Because God I find so hard to trust
And now some more invisible, salty water slips down my face
As I see my self-judging, self-destroying race
Very few understand me, and now part of my adopted family telling me I don't even care
It's YOUR bitch ass, with the devil your having an affair
Like Technique, dancing with the devil
But instead of him coming, you invited this sinful level
WTF??
You acting like your stay here is pure luck
I told already God would have took you from this Earth
If you had no worth
You don't know what I myself would give to be in your place
With so many to support me but I guess all that dancing gots you in a daze
I Know find truth in the judge's words
That not too long ago just considered them hateful words
Danger to myself and others is what she said
No muttering a phrase about this would cause my rights to be read
I myself say freedom is in your mind not in a physical state
But white walls, white covers, coldness, and no windows starts to fuck with my mind state
Turns this point critical
Now I find turning more political
And then I hear people muttering
Yeah life aint so easy, wow, if only they could step in my shoes I'd leave them stuttering
But I guess we all have our own struggles
Some soldiers, some civilians, some wizards, and some Muggles
We all tend to take for granted what we got
Why can't we all just thank God
Fuck I'm running out of napkins
But I'm overflowing in pain, I'm in need of an agony diet like Atkins
Aww fuck it I grabbed another
They only way we gon' win is fight it with love like a mother
But it's so dam hard to maintain without hate, when your own people woth bother
They act like nothing's wrong
Hide their feelings, so immature and THAT'S what's wrong
They're afraid to perish and be gone
And as the days grow old I'm crammed with hatred
Fuck you Ronnie, I'll kill you
You ignorant fuck, I'll put through a basic death phase training and drill you
I admit you hold some kind of wisdom, and your skill with tables is great
You just need to live, mature a lil bit more, mate
I myself need some whiskey
To burn my throat, but pouring liquor down my pharynx would be risky
Not only with the system but with my own composure
So I guess this tamarindo flavored Lucas will have to do after all I'm trying to stay strong as a soldier
It's not alcohol and it don't burn
But it's slightly hot and has some kind of effect
On my brain full of defects
My words running short right about now, cause my feelings I have spilled on this cleaning material
I'm poor, broke, lust filled, and materialistic, in sin's ranks I'm imperial
But at the same time anti-bacterial
These niggas talking about XBoxes
I would try and jack one creep around like some foxes
But even if I were to succeed my serenity I would take a chance of losing
My values I long ago started choosing
But it seems like they falter from time to time
That's why I write such hellish rhymes
My struggle is not only in maintaining but in conquering my own mind
Dam my soul started spilling again
I said a was done a few lines ago, but I'm still here telling MY "game"
I'm still a kid inside
Cause my childhood was cut short, like the umbilical cord is cut and stops the internal ride
Therefore I still play pretend
MY ride was cut short, my life, the plot to this pretence
I'm a premature kid at fifteen
Because I was not allowed to fully live my teens
At birth I attended a ball with the devil
Now I'm trying to stop being God's rebel
My mentality grows, going 200 miles per hour
But my lust and hate stands tall and still like a tower
I'm feeling leave in a lil bit up out this spot
Just a few memories I need to spill before my feelings clot
I need some rules
Because I don't know how to discourse with people, result of this rejection and these fucking naive mules
I need some gloves to hide my prints, but not a mask cause I already wear a smile to hide my face
I might just kill tonight and take someone's parking place
But don't pay attention
I'm just trippin balls, shittin' bricks, under much tension
In hell's own dimension
Cause of my own people's miscomprehension
Now my ink no longer pouring
I can sleep for a few with no worry of hate's exploring
But my mind gon' start soaring
In a few hours, a few days I don't know but I'ma be ready with my pen to keep my soul outpouring
OG's looking at me with less of a caring
But still muggin'
With that hate that makes me want to start slugging
From this place to another, from here to there
I don't dwell well anywhere
I've realized my thing is not to fit in
But momma, she don't realize, still tries to get in
I'm sorry I won't dress lacy
But I'll put on fedora hat like Dick Tracy
Match it with shoes by Stacy
Cause the closest I'll get to fancy is a zoot suit
But other than that Dickies, a button up, and a hoodie is my route
I feel the eyes turning, tuning in on me
Like I'm the street's made freak
Remember I said OG's staring cause now THEY got kids
And I can't let my ways show turn them to Toy Story's mini-Sids
They just fail to realize aint nobody perfect
I'm fucking up and they act like it's disrespect
They look at me with so much hate
That way aint gonna let them near the gate
But it's not in me to judge
Just to continue with this spiteful grudge
They look down on me as if I was a fucking bug
I'm just the anti-drug
See I’ am trying to make a change
But the only thing these people see is my rage
They pronounce me to be a senseless criminal
And then if I was to try and justify my behavior, fucking psycho they'd say and continue being illeteral
I may seem small but in a way I'm ahead
Because they are numb and blind to the truth, they don’t want to hear it and now they're equal to dead
South Park is one of the few that I see not full of that same detest
He reppin' God 100% in my eyes he is one of the greatest by the Good Lord he is blessed
I love the vato without even knowing him
Because he realizes my people's light is very dim
I picked up his CD from a ruka at school and read the packet
It's full of loving and faithful tactics
Just because he has made a change
He knows not everybody has, some still keep their enemies in range
All of sudden I spill an invisible tear
That fills me with the fear
That in the coming years
It will be permanently branded, tattooed
My life is darker, my lungs is blacker than Erykah Badu
Now I come to think about my own family
My dad who has come to reject me
My sister in Houstone almost hates me
Like I've said I've learned I don't fit in with this world
To them I'm just swirled and twirled
At least in the one I have seen
Just a brown bean
Full of sinful caffeine
Streets have been more of a family
But I’m paranoid, watching my back drastically
I question my self if even with them I belong
Or if they even care, so I puff on a loneliness made bong
My medicine, materialism and lust
Because God I find so hard to trust
And now some more invisible, salty water slips down my face
As I see my self-judging, self-destroying race
Very few understand me, and now part of my adopted family telling me I don't even care
It's YOUR bitch ass, with the devil your having an affair
Like Technique, dancing with the devil
But instead of him coming, you invited this sinful level
WTF??
You acting like your stay here is pure luck
I told already God would have took you from this Earth
If you had no worth
You don't know what I myself would give to be in your place
With so many to support me but I guess all that dancing gots you in a daze
I Know find truth in the judge's words
That not too long ago just considered them hateful words
Danger to myself and others is what she said
No muttering a phrase about this would cause my rights to be read
I myself say freedom is in your mind not in a physical state
But white walls, white covers, coldness, and no windows starts to fuck with my mind state
Turns this point critical
Now I find turning more political
And then I hear people muttering
Yeah life aint so easy, wow, if only they could step in my shoes I'd leave them stuttering
But I guess we all have our own struggles
Some soldiers, some civilians, some wizards, and some Muggles
We all tend to take for granted what we got
Why can't we all just thank God
Fuck I'm running out of napkins
But I'm overflowing in pain, I'm in need of an agony diet like Atkins
Aww fuck it I grabbed another
They only way we gon' win is fight it with love like a mother
But it's so dam hard to maintain without hate, when your own people woth bother
They act like nothing's wrong
Hide their feelings, so immature and THAT'S what's wrong
They're afraid to perish and be gone
And as the days grow old I'm crammed with hatred
Fuck you Ronnie, I'll kill you
You ignorant fuck, I'll put through a basic death phase training and drill you
I admit you hold some kind of wisdom, and your skill with tables is great
You just need to live, mature a lil bit more, mate
I myself need some whiskey
To burn my throat, but pouring liquor down my pharynx would be risky
Not only with the system but with my own composure
So I guess this tamarindo flavored Lucas will have to do after all I'm trying to stay strong as a soldier
It's not alcohol and it don't burn
But it's slightly hot and has some kind of effect
On my brain full of defects
My words running short right about now, cause my feelings I have spilled on this cleaning material
I'm poor, broke, lust filled, and materialistic, in sin's ranks I'm imperial
But at the same time anti-bacterial
These niggas talking about XBoxes
I would try and jack one creep around like some foxes
But even if I were to succeed my serenity I would take a chance of losing
My values I long ago started choosing
But it seems like they falter from time to time
That's why I write such hellish rhymes
My struggle is not only in maintaining but in conquering my own mind
Dam my soul started spilling again
I said a was done a few lines ago, but I'm still here telling MY "game"
I'm still a kid inside
Cause my childhood was cut short, like the umbilical cord is cut and stops the internal ride
Therefore I still play pretend
MY ride was cut short, my life, the plot to this pretence
I'm a premature kid at fifteen
Because I was not allowed to fully live my teens
At birth I attended a ball with the devil
Now I'm trying to stop being God's rebel
My mentality grows, going 200 miles per hour
But my lust and hate stands tall and still like a tower
I'm feeling leave in a lil bit up out this spot
Just a few memories I need to spill before my feelings clot
I need some rules
Because I don't know how to discourse with people, result of this rejection and these fucking naive mules
I need some gloves to hide my prints, but not a mask cause I already wear a smile to hide my face
I might just kill tonight and take someone's parking place
But don't pay attention
I'm just trippin balls, shittin' bricks, under much tension
In hell's own dimension
Cause of my own people's miscomprehension
Now my ink no longer pouring
I can sleep for a few with no worry of hate's exploring
But my mind gon' start soaring
In a few hours, a few days I don't know but I'ma be ready with my pen to keep my soul outpouring
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