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Marlene..unfinished song...

Mr Unique

Legendary Poster
(Verse I)
See there?s this girl I?ve been peeping
Not exactly innocent but closer to perfect, she?s hot my heart leaping
Loving her attitude, everything she does
But it seems more like my dreams are or what once was
Cause I hit reality
Hit rock bottom with a shove from gravity
What could a beautiful minded girl like her see in a gutta vato like me?
How could a dysfunctional man as myself attract such pureness
My mind is set she?ll reject me, such assuredness
I wouldn?t be losing anything if I just tried
But dam here I go again with thoughts of refusal, if I just lied
That wouldn?t be a relationship though
No obvious way so my heart is full of woe
Got to stop feeling sorry for myself
Turning into a man, ill at mental health
So I ask myself again
What could this lovely dame
Notice in a ghetto mothafucker, whose soul is about to explode in pain
My mind puzzled, her beauty blinds me
Nothing like I?ve ever seen or known my affection for her winds me
Her glamour goes beyond looks
And I wish my head was still stuck in them books
Wish I had wings instead of two protruding horns
I turn on some Zapp and start to mourn
My lost soul and heart
Unexplainable like a Picasso work of art
I feel an indiscernible tear streaming down my face
Cause I wanna feel loved, coming from this demonic race

(Chorus)

(Verse II)
Like Lil Rob just one of your kisses would make me feel so grand
My passion for her too great to understand
I lay back in my bed
Her charming face won?t leave my head
I?m enchanted, in a spell
And for once I feel no danger, lifted my cautious shell
But now my mouth and vocal cords don?t seem to be working quite right, but this is more than that, she?s got me stuttering
I?m going insane, the words won?t come out sounds like I?m muttering
So confused, even making the pen trip over the tongue
Missing breath in my lungs
(Chorus)

(Verse III)
...


oh and also i need some help w/ the chorus if yall got any ideas or sugggestions welcome....:D...naw pero neta.....
 
well what can i say ma nizz....i think its kinda cute how u makin a song bout a chick..lol..
a chorus..*calls up natedogg* ahaha
but homie, take the concept of the song....u are talkin bout a gurl..who you like..and expressin ur feelings very well..highlight the details...and summon it into a chorus...

What could this lovely dame
Notice in a ghetto mothafucker, whose soul is about to explode in pain
My mind puzzled, her beauty blinds me
Nothing like I’ve ever seen or known my affection for her winds

&^that was my fave..

hit me up b
 
well what can i say ma nizz....i think its kinda cute how u makin a song bout a chick..lol..
a chorus..*calls up natedogg* ahaha
but homie, take the concept of the song....u are talkin bout a gurl..who you like..and expressin ur feelings very well..highlight the details...and summon it into a chorus...

What could this lovely dame
Notice in a ghetto mothafucker, whose soul is about to explode in pain
My mind puzzled, her beauty blinds me
Nothing like I?ve ever seen or known my affection for her winds

&^that was my fave..

hit me up b
lol...i know huh..lol...jk....LMAO @ nate dogg i know huh..lol....simon..orale ummm i had a camarada that used 2 tell me that grab like the "main idea" ..orale simon thanx ..pero simon i know i especially like dthe part about being rejected ^^ and about her mayb not liking me caus eim ghetto and sinful...i guess it got my feelings out me entiendes..me deshago chingos...but ummm about the chorus.... shit idk...damm.....give em some more ideas...lol...
 
i really really thought it was nice man watch one these days you gonna make it real big you're gonna be wearing the crown
aint no one gonna bring you down
(keep it up)_
i also thought it was real cute the way you expressing your feelings 4 her

lil_miss_psycho/lil latin gurl
 
i really really thought it was nice man watch one these days you gonna make it real big you're gonna be wearing the crown
aint no one gonna bring you down
(keep it up)_
i also thought it was real cute the way you expressing your feelings 4 her

lil_miss_psycho/lil latin gurl

orale simon simon thanx.....lol...i hope so i hope so....orale simon thanx again 1 love
 
That shit wuz tite, ur probly the first vato i no that really expreses himself how he truly feels bout a gurl. Thats badass rite ther, so i have no idea y she would reject u.
 
That shit wuz tite, ur probly the first vato i no that really expreses himself how he truly feels bout a gurl. Thats badass rite ther, so i have no idea y she would reject u.

thanx thanx....orale...idk..the way I look at it is my "image" u know like the way I talk teh way I dress the things I do...idk....she just aint like that me entiendes...idk...pero thanx again 1 love
 
lol well i have a cousin that also writres poems & songz so i can ask him bout what he thinks and wat could be a good chourus unless you already thought about the lyrics....

orale simon simon id appreciate it...well i had but this dumb shit didnt let me edit it something about 1440 min and then the pc froze and fuk it pissed me off....pero simon if u could ask him 4 some ideas id really appreciate it
 
orale simon simon id appreciate it...well i had but this dumb shit didnt let me edit it something about 1440 min and then the pc froze and fuk it pissed me off....pero simon if u could ask him 4 some ideas id really appreciate it

haha that the same thing that happens to me my computer freezes and then i have to like restart it and reconnect the internet and when i'm in skool i have to sneak and get on the internet and do wat i do but sure i'll hit you up wit the chorus whan i get it hey you got an easyer way to contact u
 
haha that the same thing that happens to me my computer freezes and then i have to like restart it and reconnect the internet and when i'm in skool i have to sneak and get on the internet and do wat i do but sure i'll hit you up wit the chorus whan i get it hey you got an easyer way to contact u

lol..shit it got me fuking mad..but oh well what can i do...orale simon...ey pero i dont want him 2 just do teh chorus and here u go...give me some ideas m entiendes....help...not do it 4 me porq i mean what im feeling and what he's feeling r two diff. things he might see it 4rm a diff. point of view me entiendes...im Mr. unique 2 me entiendes...UNIQUE....lol...i dont copy nobody or duplicate nothing..inspired...helped..yes...taken...copied..never
 
thats tight beto...so sweet!!...btu damn, she got you stuttering and blinded and can't even talk......she got you lookin retarded.....lmao....jk....
 
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