Dark Mexican
Legendary Poster
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2006
- Messages
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How do you get a Mexican woman pregnant?
Jizz in her shoes, and let the flies do the rest!
How many Mexicans does it take to grease an axle?
One if you hit 'em just right.
How many Mexicans does it take to grease a combine?
It all depends upon how fast you run them through.
Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Because they're half black and half white, and smell like shit.
Why doesn't the state of Texas electrocute Mexican prisoners anymore?
Grease fires are too hard to put out.
Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So Mexicans can window shop.
What's the difference between a cue ball and an illegal immigrant?
The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
Why don't niggers marry Mexicans?
Their kids would be too lazy to steal!
Why doesn't Mexico ever host the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump,
and swim are in America already.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed
There is a Mexican, a nigger and an Asian in a car, who is driving?
The Cop!
Why doesn't Mexico have a NAVY?
Because cardboard don't float.
Why is it wrong to push a car off a cliff with three Mexicans in it? Because you can fit five?
What's a Mexican fortune cookie?
A taco shell with food stamps in it.
Why don't whites throw rocks at Mexican driven cars?
Because it might be theirs.
How many Mexicans can you fit in a Pinto?
20
How do you get them in?
Throw in a five dollar bill.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application
What do you call a Mexican baptismal?
Bean dip
What do you call a Mexican being baptized?
Bean dip.
What do you call 5000 Mexican's in a pool?
Bean dip
Why do Mexicans have mustaches?
They want to be like their moms!
Where do u hide cash from a Mexican?
Under the soap!
Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
So they can pick lettuce while they cruise
How do you know how many Mexicans are in a Safeway?
Count the Pintos and multiply by 20.
Why were there only 3000 Mexicans at the Alamo?
They only had 4 cars.
What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house?
Adopted.
Who's the richest person in Mexico?
The one that gets it.....
How do you take a census in Mexico?
Throw in a bar of soap and count the number of people running away.
How do you count the population of Mexico?
Roll a quarter down the street and count the people running after it.
What did the Mexican kid down the block get for his birthday? The bike you threw out 3 weeks ago.
Know why Mexican women wear long dresses?
To hide the bug strips. [Picture]
Why did the Mexicans fight so hard to take the Alamo?
So they could have four clean walls to write on.
Why do Mexican girls wear panties?
To keep their ankles warm.
What's the most confusing day for a Mexican?
Father's Day!
How do you tell a Mexican girl from a Jewish girl?
A Mexican girl's jewelry is fake, but her orgasms are real.
What do you call a pregnant Mexican?
Bean Bag.
What do you call an old Mexican woman?
Bean bag
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do Mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time?
How can you tell a Mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.
Q: How do you give a mexican a concussion?
A: Smash his head with the toilet seat while he's drinking.
Q: Why do flies have wings?
A: To beat the mexicans to the trash can.
Q: How many mexican's does it take to grease a car?
A: Just one if you hit him right.
Q: Why did the mexicans have to move out of the house?
A: Because they couldn't figure out how to flush the pool.
Q: How many cops does it take to arrest a mexican?
A: Ten. 1 to hold the mexican, and 9 to hold the oranges.
Q: Why do mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?
A: Because they come with birth certificates.
Q: Why don't mexicans have any Olympic teams?
A: Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are over here.
Q: Why is there so little great mexican literature?
A: Spray paint wasn't invented until 1950.
Q: Why is the average age of the mexican army 40?
A: Because they take them right out of high school.
Q: What are the three most difficult years in a mexicans life?
A: Second grade.
Q: What do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?
A: Unemployed.
Q: What is a mexican's favorite sport?
A: Boxing... Boxing oranges!
Q: What do you call a building full of mexicans?
A: Jail.
Q: Why did the mexican cross the road?
A: To get from the gas station to the orange groves.
Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a phone booth?
A: Throw in a food stamp.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: What do you call a taco with a food stamp inside it?
A: A mexican fortune cookie.
Q: What's the slowest thing in the world?
A: A mexican funeral precession with only 1 set of jumper cables.
Q: Who's the best man at a mexican wedding?
A: The guy with the jumper cables.
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in
Mexico?
A: They don't want to wear out the donkey.
Q: Why do mexicans wear sombreros?
A: So they have a place to put their taco when they are stealing your hubcaps.
Q: Why do mexican's drive lowriders?
A: So they can pick the cabbage.
Q: Why do they have hydraulics?
A: When all the cabbage is gone, they can then pick apples.
Q: What do you say to a mexican in uniform?
A: I'll have a big mac, coke and fries.
Q: What do you call sex with a mexican?
A: Rape.
Q: Why don't mexicans have barbecues?
A: Because the beans keep falling through the Grill!
Q: Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?
A: Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time?
Q: What's the name of Mexico's telephone company?
A: "Taco Bell."
Q: A mexican spent one whole hot day mowing the lawn, why couldn't he go inside the
house and grab a sip of water?
A: It wasn't his house.
Q: Who's the best man at a Mexican wedding?
A: The guy with the jumper cables.
Q: Did you hear about the two mexicans on "That's Incredible"?
A: One had auto insurance and the other was an only child.
Q: Why do mexicans eat beans?
A: So they can have a bubble bath.
Q: How do you know that Superman isn't mexican?
A: Because he would steal wheels off air planes if he was.
Q: Why do most mexican men have mustaches?
A: Because they want to look like their mothers.
Q: How can you tell a mexican airline?
A: It's the one with hair under the wings.
Q: Why don't mexicans like blow jobs?
A: They don't like ANY kind of jobs.
Q: What do you call a mexican with an IQ of 176?
A: A village.
Q: What do you call a mexican paratrooper?
A: Instant air pollution.
Q: How many mexicans does it take to grease a car?
A: Just one if you hit him right.
Q: What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
A: I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
Q: Why are scientists breeding mexicans instead of rats for experiments?
A: They multiply faster and you don't get as attached to them.
There were three construction workers, one was mexican, one was English, and the other
was polish. They were on the high scaffolding of the building they were building, and they
were eating lunch. The Mexican looked in his lunch, and said,"A taco, if I get a taco one
more time I'm going to jump off this building!"
The English guy looked in his lunch, and said,"Crumpets, if I get crumpets one more time
I'm going to jump off this building!"
Then the Polish guy looked in his lunch and said,"Polish sausage, if I get this sausage one
more time I'm going to jump off of this building!"
The next day they all got the same lunch, and they all jumped off the building, and died.
At the funeral the Mexican's wife said,"If he would have told me he didn't want tacos I
would have made him something different."
Then the English guy's wife said,"If he would have told me he didn't want crumpets I
would have made him something else."
Then the Polish guy's wife said,"I don't understand, he made his own lunch."
A Mexican tried to get into the United States. He was stopped at the
border and questioned as to why he wanted in this country and how long
he would stay.
He told them that he wanted to live there and become a citizen. The
officer said, "Okay, if you use yellow, pink, and green in a sentence, I
will let you in."
The Mexican thought and thought. He finally said, "The telephano goes
green, green, green. So I pink it up and say 'yellow'!"
Q: What do you call four Puerto Ricans in quicksand?
A: Quatro cinco
Q: What do you call a Mexican hitchiker ?
A: El Paso
Q: What do you call a Mexican baptism?
A: Bean dip
Q: What's a "feel-up"?
A: It's what you get at a Mexican gas station.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?
A: Oil of Ole'
Q: What do you call a Texan?
A: A Mexican who ran out of gas going to Oklahoma
Ever hear of the redneck who thought that "Manual Labor" was the new
Mexican President?
Q: What is six miles long and moves five miles an hour?
A: A Mexican funeral with only one set of jumper cables
There are two Mexicans are talking. One is a new resident of
the town. The first Mexican says to the other,"Hey, vato, this
town is pretty rough. All the Mexicans know how to fight. So
watch your back."
The other Mexican replies,"I don't need to worry, because I know
Mexican Judo." And the first Mexican asks, "What's Mexican Judo?"
The second says, "Ju don't know if I have a gun; Ju don't know if
i have a knife. . ."
A Russian, a Mexican and a Texan are all sitting around a
campfire.
The Russian pulls out a bottle of Vodka, slams it down, throws
it up in the air and shoots it. He announces to his companions,
"There is plenty of Vodka in Russia."
The Mexican takes out a bottle of Tequila. He slams it, throws
it up in the air and shoots it. He turns to the Russian and
says, "there's plenty of Tequila in Mexico."
The Texan takes his good ole american bottle of beer, slams it
down, throws it up in the air and shoots the Mexican. He turns
to the Russian and says, "there's to many Mexicans in Texas!"
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large
bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the
bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard
takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them out and finds nothing
in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the
man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain
nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the
border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally,
Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in
Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's
driving me crazy. It's all I think about. I can't sleep. Just between you
and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
Q: What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico?
A: "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."
Q: What did you name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo.
A high ranking official from the Clinton Administration was invited to
speak at a banquet tendered by the Don Q Rum Corp. in Puerto Rico.
The man delivered his speech nobly, but for one fatal flaw. He persisted in
referring to his hosts as the "makers of that wonderful Bacardi rum."
Every time he mentioned the competing name "Bacardi", an official from
Don Q would jump up and correct him saying, "Don Q, senor, Don Q!"
The smiling Clinton aide would answer, "You're welcome."
Q. What do you get when you cross a mexican and an italian?
A. A guy who makes an offer you can't understand
Q. Why do mexicans have noses?
A. For something to pick in the winter time
Q. Why did they cancel drivers ed. in mexico?
A. The donkey died
Q. What did the mexican do with his first 50 cent piece?
A. He married her
Q. Why do mexicans eat refried beans?
A. Ever see a mexican that didn't screw things up the first time
or
so they can take a bubble bath at night
Q. How many mexicans does it take to grease a car?
A. Just one if you hit him right
Q. What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
A. I don't know but it sure picks tomatoes
Q. Why are scientists breeding mexicans instead of rats for experiments?
A. They multiply faster and you don't get as attached to them
Q. What do you get when you cross a mexican and a vietnamese?
A. A car thief that can't drive
Q.Did you hear about the two mexicans on that's incredible?
A. One had auto insurance and the other one was an only child
Q: Why did the Mexican throw his wife off the cliff?
A: TEQUILA
-There is an American, a German, and a Mexican.
They are in all in a boat.
The boat is about to sink.
Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter!
The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says:
"We have a lot of bear in Germany so we don't need these!"
The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says:
"We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"
The American grabs the Mexican and throws him out.
The German asks why he threw the Mexican out.
And the American replies:
"We have a lot of Mexicans in America so we don't need him!.
-There was a German, an American, and a Mexican.
They were walking in the woods.
Suddenly a heard of buffalo came at them.
They ran and ran until they saw a shack and went in it.
2 days later the buffalo left.
The men got out of the shack only to find layers of crap everywhere!
They were forced to jump in because there was no way out.
The German took a leap and said,
" It's not bad, it's only up to my waist. "
The American took a leap and said,
" It's not bad, it's only up to my knees. "
Then the Mexican took a leap and said,
" It's not bad, it's only up to my ankles. "
The American asked, " How did you do that. "
The Mexican replied in a muffled voice, " I jumped in head first. "
-Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
-Why do Mexicans eat Tomales for Christmas?
So they have something to unwrap
-What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook?
"Steal a chicken..."
A Britisher, a Frenchman, a Mexican and a Texan were on a small
plane. All of a sudden the engine sputtered and they realized
that they had to lighten the load or else all would die. Only one
could stay on the plane, so they drew straws and the Mexican got
to stay.
The British fellow steps to the door, yells "God save the Queen!"
and jumps out.
The Frenchman goes to the door, places his hat over his heart,
yells "Viva la France!" and jumps out.
The Texan gets up, hollers "Remember the Alamo!" and pushes the
Mexican out.
Q: Why didn't Mexico have an Olympic national team at NAGANO?
A: Because everyone who could run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEXICAN WITH A
VASECTOMY?
A dry Martinez.
Jizz in her shoes, and let the flies do the rest!
How many Mexicans does it take to grease an axle?
One if you hit 'em just right.
How many Mexicans does it take to grease a combine?
It all depends upon how fast you run them through.
Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Because they're half black and half white, and smell like shit.
Why doesn't the state of Texas electrocute Mexican prisoners anymore?
Grease fires are too hard to put out.
Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So Mexicans can window shop.
What's the difference between a cue ball and an illegal immigrant?
The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.
Why don't niggers marry Mexicans?
Their kids would be too lazy to steal!
Why doesn't Mexico ever host the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump,
and swim are in America already.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed
There is a Mexican, a nigger and an Asian in a car, who is driving?
The Cop!
Why doesn't Mexico have a NAVY?
Because cardboard don't float.
Why is it wrong to push a car off a cliff with three Mexicans in it? Because you can fit five?
What's a Mexican fortune cookie?
A taco shell with food stamps in it.
Why don't whites throw rocks at Mexican driven cars?
Because it might be theirs.
How many Mexicans can you fit in a Pinto?
20
How do you get them in?
Throw in a five dollar bill.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application
What do you call a Mexican baptismal?
Bean dip
What do you call a Mexican being baptized?
Bean dip.
What do you call 5000 Mexican's in a pool?
Bean dip
Why do Mexicans have mustaches?
They want to be like their moms!
Where do u hide cash from a Mexican?
Under the soap!
Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
So they can pick lettuce while they cruise
How do you know how many Mexicans are in a Safeway?
Count the Pintos and multiply by 20.
Why were there only 3000 Mexicans at the Alamo?
They only had 4 cars.
What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house?
Adopted.
Who's the richest person in Mexico?
The one that gets it.....
How do you take a census in Mexico?
Throw in a bar of soap and count the number of people running away.
How do you count the population of Mexico?
Roll a quarter down the street and count the people running after it.
What did the Mexican kid down the block get for his birthday? The bike you threw out 3 weeks ago.
Know why Mexican women wear long dresses?
To hide the bug strips. [Picture]
Why did the Mexicans fight so hard to take the Alamo?
So they could have four clean walls to write on.
Why do Mexican girls wear panties?
To keep their ankles warm.
What's the most confusing day for a Mexican?
Father's Day!
How do you tell a Mexican girl from a Jewish girl?
A Mexican girl's jewelry is fake, but her orgasms are real.
What do you call a pregnant Mexican?
Bean Bag.
What do you call an old Mexican woman?
Bean bag
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do Mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time?
How can you tell a Mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.
Q: How do you give a mexican a concussion?
A: Smash his head with the toilet seat while he's drinking.
Q: Why do flies have wings?
A: To beat the mexicans to the trash can.
Q: How many mexican's does it take to grease a car?
A: Just one if you hit him right.
Q: Why did the mexicans have to move out of the house?
A: Because they couldn't figure out how to flush the pool.
Q: How many cops does it take to arrest a mexican?
A: Ten. 1 to hold the mexican, and 9 to hold the oranges.
Q: Why do mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?
A: Because they come with birth certificates.
Q: Why don't mexicans have any Olympic teams?
A: Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are over here.
Q: Why is there so little great mexican literature?
A: Spray paint wasn't invented until 1950.
Q: Why is the average age of the mexican army 40?
A: Because they take them right out of high school.
Q: What are the three most difficult years in a mexicans life?
A: Second grade.
Q: What do you call a mexican without a lawnmower?
A: Unemployed.
Q: What is a mexican's favorite sport?
A: Boxing... Boxing oranges!
Q: What do you call a building full of mexicans?
A: Jail.
Q: Why did the mexican cross the road?
A: To get from the gas station to the orange groves.
Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a phone booth?
A: Throw in a food stamp.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Throw in a bar of soap.
Q: What do you call a taco with a food stamp inside it?
A: A mexican fortune cookie.
Q: What's the slowest thing in the world?
A: A mexican funeral precession with only 1 set of jumper cables.
Q: Who's the best man at a mexican wedding?
A: The guy with the jumper cables.
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in
Mexico?
A: They don't want to wear out the donkey.
Q: Why do mexicans wear sombreros?
A: So they have a place to put their taco when they are stealing your hubcaps.
Q: Why do mexican's drive lowriders?
A: So they can pick the cabbage.
Q: Why do they have hydraulics?
A: When all the cabbage is gone, they can then pick apples.
Q: What do you say to a mexican in uniform?
A: I'll have a big mac, coke and fries.
Q: What do you call sex with a mexican?
A: Rape.
Q: Why don't mexicans have barbecues?
A: Because the beans keep falling through the Grill!
Q: Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?
A: Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time?
Q: What's the name of Mexico's telephone company?
A: "Taco Bell."
Q: A mexican spent one whole hot day mowing the lawn, why couldn't he go inside the
house and grab a sip of water?
A: It wasn't his house.
Q: Who's the best man at a Mexican wedding?
A: The guy with the jumper cables.
Q: Did you hear about the two mexicans on "That's Incredible"?
A: One had auto insurance and the other was an only child.
Q: Why do mexicans eat beans?
A: So they can have a bubble bath.
Q: How do you know that Superman isn't mexican?
A: Because he would steal wheels off air planes if he was.
Q: Why do most mexican men have mustaches?
A: Because they want to look like their mothers.
Q: How can you tell a mexican airline?
A: It's the one with hair under the wings.
Q: Why don't mexicans like blow jobs?
A: They don't like ANY kind of jobs.
Q: What do you call a mexican with an IQ of 176?
A: A village.
Q: What do you call a mexican paratrooper?
A: Instant air pollution.
Q: How many mexicans does it take to grease a car?
A: Just one if you hit him right.
Q: What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
A: I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
Q: Why are scientists breeding mexicans instead of rats for experiments?
A: They multiply faster and you don't get as attached to them.
There were three construction workers, one was mexican, one was English, and the other
was polish. They were on the high scaffolding of the building they were building, and they
were eating lunch. The Mexican looked in his lunch, and said,"A taco, if I get a taco one
more time I'm going to jump off this building!"
The English guy looked in his lunch, and said,"Crumpets, if I get crumpets one more time
I'm going to jump off this building!"
Then the Polish guy looked in his lunch and said,"Polish sausage, if I get this sausage one
more time I'm going to jump off of this building!"
The next day they all got the same lunch, and they all jumped off the building, and died.
At the funeral the Mexican's wife said,"If he would have told me he didn't want tacos I
would have made him something different."
Then the English guy's wife said,"If he would have told me he didn't want crumpets I
would have made him something else."
Then the Polish guy's wife said,"I don't understand, he made his own lunch."
A Mexican tried to get into the United States. He was stopped at the
border and questioned as to why he wanted in this country and how long
he would stay.
He told them that he wanted to live there and become a citizen. The
officer said, "Okay, if you use yellow, pink, and green in a sentence, I
will let you in."
The Mexican thought and thought. He finally said, "The telephano goes
green, green, green. So I pink it up and say 'yellow'!"
Q: What do you call four Puerto Ricans in quicksand?
A: Quatro cinco
Q: What do you call a Mexican hitchiker ?
A: El Paso
Q: What do you call a Mexican baptism?
A: Bean dip
Q: What's a "feel-up"?
A: It's what you get at a Mexican gas station.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?
A: Oil of Ole'
Q: What do you call a Texan?
A: A Mexican who ran out of gas going to Oklahoma
Ever hear of the redneck who thought that "Manual Labor" was the new
Mexican President?
Q: What is six miles long and moves five miles an hour?
A: A Mexican funeral with only one set of jumper cables
There are two Mexicans are talking. One is a new resident of
the town. The first Mexican says to the other,"Hey, vato, this
town is pretty rough. All the Mexicans know how to fight. So
watch your back."
The other Mexican replies,"I don't need to worry, because I know
Mexican Judo." And the first Mexican asks, "What's Mexican Judo?"
The second says, "Ju don't know if I have a gun; Ju don't know if
i have a knife. . ."
A Russian, a Mexican and a Texan are all sitting around a
campfire.
The Russian pulls out a bottle of Vodka, slams it down, throws
it up in the air and shoots it. He announces to his companions,
"There is plenty of Vodka in Russia."
The Mexican takes out a bottle of Tequila. He slams it, throws
it up in the air and shoots it. He turns to the Russian and
says, "there's plenty of Tequila in Mexico."
The Texan takes his good ole american bottle of beer, slams it
down, throws it up in the air and shoots the Mexican. He turns
to the Russian and says, "there's to many Mexicans in Texas!"
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large
bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the
bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard
takes the bags and rips them apart. He empties them out and finds nothing
in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the
man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain
nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the
border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally,
Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in
Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's
driving me crazy. It's all I think about. I can't sleep. Just between you
and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
Q: What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico?
A: "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."
Q: What did you name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo.
A high ranking official from the Clinton Administration was invited to
speak at a banquet tendered by the Don Q Rum Corp. in Puerto Rico.
The man delivered his speech nobly, but for one fatal flaw. He persisted in
referring to his hosts as the "makers of that wonderful Bacardi rum."
Every time he mentioned the competing name "Bacardi", an official from
Don Q would jump up and correct him saying, "Don Q, senor, Don Q!"
The smiling Clinton aide would answer, "You're welcome."
Q. What do you get when you cross a mexican and an italian?
A. A guy who makes an offer you can't understand
Q. Why do mexicans have noses?
A. For something to pick in the winter time
Q. Why did they cancel drivers ed. in mexico?
A. The donkey died
Q. What did the mexican do with his first 50 cent piece?
A. He married her
Q. Why do mexicans eat refried beans?
A. Ever see a mexican that didn't screw things up the first time
or
so they can take a bubble bath at night
Q. How many mexicans does it take to grease a car?
A. Just one if you hit him right
Q. What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
A. I don't know but it sure picks tomatoes
Q. Why are scientists breeding mexicans instead of rats for experiments?
A. They multiply faster and you don't get as attached to them
Q. What do you get when you cross a mexican and a vietnamese?
A. A car thief that can't drive
Q.Did you hear about the two mexicans on that's incredible?
A. One had auto insurance and the other one was an only child
Q: Why did the Mexican throw his wife off the cliff?
A: TEQUILA
-There is an American, a German, and a Mexican.
They are in all in a boat.
The boat is about to sink.
Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter!
The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says:
"We have a lot of bear in Germany so we don't need these!"
The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says:
"We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"
The American grabs the Mexican and throws him out.
The German asks why he threw the Mexican out.
And the American replies:
"We have a lot of Mexicans in America so we don't need him!.
-There was a German, an American, and a Mexican.
They were walking in the woods.
Suddenly a heard of buffalo came at them.
They ran and ran until they saw a shack and went in it.
2 days later the buffalo left.
The men got out of the shack only to find layers of crap everywhere!
They were forced to jump in because there was no way out.
The German took a leap and said,
" It's not bad, it's only up to my waist. "
The American took a leap and said,
" It's not bad, it's only up to my knees. "
Then the Mexican took a leap and said,
" It's not bad, it's only up to my ankles. "
The American asked, " How did you do that. "
The Mexican replied in a muffled voice, " I jumped in head first. "
-Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
-Why do Mexicans eat Tomales for Christmas?
So they have something to unwrap
-What are the first three words in every Mexican cookbook?
"Steal a chicken..."
A Britisher, a Frenchman, a Mexican and a Texan were on a small
plane. All of a sudden the engine sputtered and they realized
that they had to lighten the load or else all would die. Only one
could stay on the plane, so they drew straws and the Mexican got
to stay.
The British fellow steps to the door, yells "God save the Queen!"
and jumps out.
The Frenchman goes to the door, places his hat over his heart,
yells "Viva la France!" and jumps out.
The Texan gets up, hollers "Remember the Alamo!" and pushes the
Mexican out.
Q: Why didn't Mexico have an Olympic national team at NAGANO?
A: Because everyone who could run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.
WHAT DO YOU CALL A MEXICAN WITH A
VASECTOMY?
A dry Martinez.
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